You cannot will yourself to be interested in something you’re not interested in. But you can actively discover and deepen your interest.
ANGELA DUCKWORTHThe most important thing parents can do, although it’s not the only thing they should do, is model the behavior they want from their kids.
More Angela Duckworth Quotes
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I would be surprised if my girls ended up as women without grit. I really would.
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I worked hard when I was a consultant. I worked hard when I was in graduate school looking at neuroscience.
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Maybe. But the reality is that our early interests are fragile, vaguely defined, and in need of energetic, years-long cultivation and refinement.
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I believe kids should choose what they want to do, because it’s their life, but they have to choose something, and they can’t quit in the middle unless there’s a really good reason.
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Nobody gets to be good at something without effort, no matter what your aptitude is.
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Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.
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Being gritty doesn’t mean not showing pain or pretending everything is O.K. In fact, when you look at healthy and successful and giving people, they are extraordinarily meta-cognitive. They’re able to say things like, ‘Dude, I totally lost my temper this morning.’ That ability to reflect on yourself is signature to grit.
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The parenting style that is good for grit is also the parenting style good for most other things: Be really, really demanding, and be very, very supportive.
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The most important thing parents can do, although it’s not the only thing they should do, is model the behavior they want from their kids.
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Substituting nuance for novelty is what experts do, and that is why they are never bored.
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People’s lives really do turn out differently. And it certainly can’t be explained by how intelligent you remember them being when they were sitting next to you in organic chemistry class.
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I do think that whatever ambition I may have had natively was amplified by my father’s clear valuing of it. I knew that was what my dad really cared about.
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If you are a young person who is wanting to develop a passion, you cannot expect anyone else to tell you what that passion would be.
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When I was 27 years old, I left a very demanding job in management consulting for a job that was even more demanding: teaching. I went to teach seventh graders math in the New York City public schools.
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I do feel it’s hard to be modest and humble and egoless when people are telling you you are so great and wanting to give you prizes and energy. I’m trying hard not to be an awful, narcissistic human being.
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