“To me Psycho was a big comedy. Had to be.”

Suspense is like a woman. The more left to the imagination, the more the excitement.

For me, suspense doesn’t have any value if it’s not balanced by humor.

Luck is everything… My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I’m fortunate to be a coward, to have a low threshold of fear, because a hero couldn’t make a good suspense film.

There is nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.

San Francisco would be a good location for a murder mystery.

A woman of mystery is one who also has a certain maturity and whose actions speak louder than words. Any woman can be one, if she keeps those two points in mind. She should grow up-and shut up.

It’s only a movie, and, after all, we’re all grossly overpaid.

Film your murders like love scenes, and film your love scenes like murders.

Puns are the highest form of literature.

For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake.

I was an uncommonly unattractive young man.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

I’m frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me.

Even my failures make money and become classics a year after I make them.

Self-plagiarism is style.

When I do comedy, I lose all inhibition and introspection. I no longer care.

People who know me , they know I have a sense of humor, I’m a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown really, and I would love someone to exploit that side of me and send me a romantic comedy.

Doing drama is, in a sense, easier. In doing comedy, if you don’t get that laugh, there’s something wrong.

I don’t think Hollywood knows what to do with me. I would imagine that when it comes to romantic comedies, my name would be pretty low down on the list.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

Anyone can write. But comedy, you’ve got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas.

In terms of the romantic kind of lead, I just never enjoy those movies very much. Maybe they’ll come to interest me more as I get older. I doubt it, but maybe. Romantic comedies tend to be, for me, an oxymoron.

The only thing I would unequivocally say is that I have never had any interest in romantic comedy I just couldn’t do it. I think I’d be terrible.