“Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.

I’m frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me.

Even my failures make money and become classics a year after I make them.

Self-plagiarism is style.

Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table.

I always try to look at things as though I were remembering them three years later.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

All love scenes started on the set are continued in the dressing room.

Conversation is the enemy of good wine and food.

When you can look forward, and the road is clear ahead, and now you are going to create something – that’s as happy as I’d want to be.

There is nothing so good as a burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.

Everything’s perverted in a different way.

I’ve become a body of films, not a man, I am all those films.

Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don’t want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.

Every day is Thanksgiving for me, man. Yeah, I still have an audience, and they ask the local promoter, “When is Al coming back?”

It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.

And when it’s sold to 50 countries or whatever, for me it’s a great deal. I make movies for an audience so if that audience grows, I feel really honoured and thankful for it.

I would love to work in international movies just because the talent all around the world is great.

There’s a lot of good talent and the audience base is bigger.

It’s basically how I choose movie roles. Would I like to see this movie? Is this movie important? Why would I do this? And Headhunters is a movie that I would like to see in the cinema.

The real resistance now is to an art which forces its audience to recognize and accept imaginatively.

We’ve never written a song and thought ‘oh it’d be great if in this part this happened in the audience’.