I was an only child. I lost both my parents. By the time I was twenty I was bald. I’m homosexual.
ALAN BENNETTPolly: Education with socialists, it’s like sex, all right as long as you don’t have to pay for it.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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We still don’t like to admit the war was even partly our fault because so many of our people died.
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I turned down a knighthood. It would be like having to wear a suit every day of your life.
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It’s much easier to follow something that’s not been as successful as this.
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There is no such thing as a good script, onlya good film, and I’m conscious that my scripts often read better than they play.
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The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you.
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…she felt about reading what some writers felt about writing: that it was impossible not to do it and that at this late stage of her life she had been chosen to read as others were chosen to write.
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It’s the one species I wouldn’t mind seeing vanish from the face of the earth.
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There are more microbes per person than the entire population of the world.
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If you find yourself born in Barnsley and then set your sights on being Virginia Woolf it is not going to be roses all the way.
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To play Trivial Pursuit with a life like mine could be said to be a form of homeopathy.
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His writing is that of someone whose whole life was spent in apartments, with lifts, stairwells, muffled voices behind closed doors, and sounds through walls.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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It’s like going to a place that you’ve never been to before – you’ve got a picture of it and then you go there and that picture is totally wiped out by the reality.
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Memories are not shackles, Franklin, they are garlands.
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One recipe for happiness is to have to sense of entitlement.’ To this she added a star and noted at the bottom of the page: ‘This is not a lesson I have ever been in a position to learn.
ALAN BENNETT