Clichés can be quite fun. That’s how they got to be clichés.
ALAN BENNETTI lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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If I am doing nothing, I like to be doing nothing to some purpose. That is what leisure means.
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At the drabber moments of my life (swilling some excrement from the steps, for instance, or rooting with a bent coat-hanger down a blocked sink) thoughts occur like.
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
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My school was a state school in Leeds and the headmaster usually sent students to Leeds University but he didn’t normally send them to Oxford or Cambridge.
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I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?
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Put him in a nice detached villa and he’d never have written a word.
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Here I sit, alone at 60, Bald and fat and full of sin Cold the seat, and loud the cistern As I read the (Harpic) (Lysol) tin
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A book is a device to ignite the imagination.
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Cloisters, ancient libraries … I was confusing learning with the smell of cold stone.
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I’m all in favour of free expression provided it’s kept rigidly under control.
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I have never understood disliking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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You have the knowledge but that does not entitle you to be superior. Knowledge makes you the servant not the master.
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I wish they were like the White Rhinosix of them left in the Serengeti National Park, and all males.
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One of the hardest things for a teacher to learn is not to try and tell them.
ALAN BENNETT