If I am doing nothing, I like to be doing nothing to some purpose. That is what leisure means.
ALAN BENNETTI think perhaps that’s why I live in Ibiza, because the blue of the Mediterranean, you see, reminds me of the blue of the eyes of those Doncaster miners.
More Alan Bennett Quotes
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Cloisters, ancient libraries … I was confusing learning with the smell of cold stone.
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The Breed never dies. Sapper, Buchan, Dornford Yates, practitioners in that school of Snobbery withViolence that runs like a thread of good-class tweed through twentieth-century literature.
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History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind with the bucket.
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Art comes out of art; it begins with imitation, often in the form of parody, and it’s in the process of imitating the voice of others that one comes to learn the sound of one’s own.
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Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key.
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However bad the weather, Dad never drove to church because Mam thought the sacrament might make him incapable on the return journey.
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I can walk. It’s just that I’m so rich I don’t need to.
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God doesn’t do notes, either. Did Jesus Christ say, “Can I be excused the Crucifixion?” No!
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Illogically, I tend to assume that if you ( Philip Larkin) dream of caning schoolgirls bottoms, it disqualifies you from dismissing half the nation as work-shy.
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We were put to Dickens as children but it never quite took. That unremitting humanity soon had me cheesed off.
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I’m not good at precise, coherent argument. But plays are suited to incoherent argument, put into the mouths of fallible people.
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If you find yourself born in Barnsley and then set your sights on being Virginia Woolf it is not going to be roses all the way.
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My school was a state school in Leeds and the headmaster usually sent students to Leeds University but he didn’t normally send them to Oxford or Cambridge.
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Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall.
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Artists, celebrated for their humanity, they turn out to be scarcely human at all.
ALAN BENNETT






