The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.
ALAIN DE BOTTONWhat kills us isn’t one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can’t turn down for fear of disappointing others.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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There is a devilishly direct relationship between the significance of an idea and how nervous we become at the prospect of having to think about it.
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My writing always came out of a very personal place, out of an attempt to stay sane.
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The more closely we analyze what we consider ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Forcing people to eat together is an effective way to promote tolerance.
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The good parent: someone who doesn’t mind, for a time, being hated by their children.
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Only by declaring a book completely finished can one start to see how much remains to be done on it.
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Those who divorce aren’t necessarily the most unhappy, just those neatly able to believe their misery is caused by one other person.
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A good half of the art of living is resilience.
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Most anger stems from feelings of weakness, sadness and fear: hard to remember when one is at the receiving end of its defiant roar.
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Envy: a confused, tangled guide to one’s own ambitions.
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There may be significant things to learn about people by looking at what annoys them most.
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Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.
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It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however calming, was also a reminder of infidelity to what I had at one time held so dear.
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Writing isn’t a career choice. It’s self-medication that over time precipitates the madness it was meant to ward off.
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Most victories are, in the best way, acts of revenge.
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