Our capacity to draw happiness from aesthetic objects or material goods in fact seems critically dependent on our first satisfying a more important range of emotional or psychological needs, among them the need for understanding, for love, expression and respect.
ALAIN DE BOTTONEvery adult life could be said to be defined by two great love stories: the story of our quest for sexual love and the story of our quest for love from the world.
More Alain de Botton Quotes
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Must being in love always mean being in pain?
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We will cease to be angry once we cease to be so hopeful.
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Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people.
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There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life.
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Our disrespect for thinking: someone sitting in a chair, gazing out of a window blankly, always described as ‘doing nothing’.
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True love is a lack of desire to check one’s smartphone in another’s presence.
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Our minds are susceptible to the influence of external voices telling us what we require to be satisfied, voices that may drown out the faint sounds emitted by our souls and distract us from the careful, arduous task of accurately naming our priorities.
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What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions.
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We often lose our tempers not with those who are actually to blame; just with those who love us enough to forgive us our foul moods.
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What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married.
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It’s as though either you accept [religious] doctrine and then you can have all the nice stuff, or you reject the doctrine and you’re living in some kind of spiritual wasteland under the guidance of CNN and Walmart.
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We are like an exquisite high-speed aircraft which for lack of a tiny part is left stranded beside the runway, rendered slower than a tractor or bicycle.
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Though it may feel otherwise, enjoying life is no more dangerous than apprehending it with continuous anxiety and gloom.
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Most anger stems from feelings of weakness, sadness and fear: hard to remember when one is at the receiving end of its defiant roar.
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You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneventful nice days.
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Journeys are the midwives of thought. Few places are more conducive to internal conversations than moving planes, ships or trains.
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Our homes do not have to offer us permanent occupancy or store our clothes to merit the name. To speak of home in relation to a building is simply to recognise its harmony with our own prized internal song. Home can be an airport or a library, a garden or a motorway diner.
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If one felt successful, there’d be so little incentive to be successful.
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As we write, so we build: to keep a record of what matters to us.
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Most good thinking has its origin in fear.
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We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never saved anyone from the disease.
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Politics is so difficult, it’s generally only people who aren’t quite up to the task who feel convinced they are.
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I feel that the great challenge of our time is the communication of ideas.
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All tours are filled with humiliation. My publisher once hired a private jet to fly me to a venue where 1,000 people were waiting. It almost bankrupted him.
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The attentions of others matter to us because we are afflicted by a congenital uncertainty as to our own value, as a result of which affliction we tend to allow others’ appraisals to play a determining role in how we see ourselves. Our sense of identity is held captive by the judgements of those we live among.
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What should worry us is not the number of people that oppose us, but how good their reasons are for doing so.
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