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Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

Al Yankovic

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
I don’t want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garage bands and alternative music, but that’s more my personal taste.
AL YANKOVIC

Appreciate Favorite Guitar Kind Modern Music Personal Pooh Pop
So that’s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it’s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
AL YANKOVIC

Funny Gotta Know Material Merit Parody Regard Rule Source Write
I’m obviously not a rapper, and I don’t have any claims to be one, really.
AL YANKOVIC

Claim Obvious One Rapper Real
They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It’s amazing.
AL YANKOVIC

Amazing Between Every Everything Gangsta Genre Music Polka
I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
AL YANKOVIC

Bathroom Clean Grand Minute Spend Station Tongue
That’s a big part of my life – doing things that I’m not prepared to do.
AL YANKOVIC

Big Comfort Depth Life Part Prepare Try
I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.
AL YANKOVIC

Always Decision Do Headline Leery Little Miss People Play Point Show Start
About four or five months ago, at a dinner in New York, John made the very nice offer of my being guest editor for an issue of MAD and I thought about it for about half a nanosecond and decided that was a pretty good idea.
AL YANKOVIC

Editor Five Good Guest Idea Issue Month Nanosecond Nice Offer Pretty
That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.
AL YANKOVIC

Gateway Kid Lesbian Read Something Witchcraft
I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.
AL YANKOVIC

Assimilate Call Culture Gotten More Nerd Think Want
My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
AL YANKOVIC

Brother Children Hate Only Child Sister
Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
AL YANKOVIC

Bottle Coke End Got Left Nestle Record Stuck Sun Tongue
I’m watching the charts every week and hoping something will pop into my head.
AL YANKOVIC

Chart Head Hope Pop Something Watch Week Will
I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
AL YANKOVIC

Fright Ground Kitchen Light Love Pleasant Run Sound Squish
Whenever I do a parody it’s not meant to make you hate anybody’s music really.
AL YANKOVIC

Anybody Hate Make Music Parody Really

Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

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Didn’t have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

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