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There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.

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You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.
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Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I’d just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
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Not only are they just great, nice guys; they’re some of the best musicians you’re likely to find.
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I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.
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You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
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By the time I’m in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.
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What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
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Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
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Sometimes I get, “Have you ever thought about doing real music?” I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
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People never ask people doing serious music, ‘Do you ever think about doing funny music?’
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Pop culture’s gotten much more disposable.
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I don’t think there are any new media I’d like to cover.
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Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.
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It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.
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I’d rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.
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It doesn’t take a military genius to see we’ll all be crispy critters after World War III.
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