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There are probably a few library fines I haven’t paid yet, but I’m a pretty clean-cut guy overall.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

I can’t get too offended when somebody parodies me.
AL YANKOVIC

Get Me Offend Parody Somebody Too
I’ll bet every great thinker and leader we’ve got Could see all kinds of things other people could not!
AL YANKOVIC

Every Great Kind Leader Not Other People Thing Upset
After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.
AL YANKOVIC

Decision Even Headline Made Matter People Play Seven Want
Somebody will come up to me after a show and have me sign their arm, and the next time I see them my autograph has been permanently inscribed on their arm.
AL YANKOVIC

Arm Autograph Come Next Permanent Show Somebody Time Up
If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
AL YANKOVIC

Enough Good People See Something
It’s hard to really articulate what the parameters are that make one song parody-able and another song not, but if I can come up with a good enough idea for it, I go for it, and if not, then I have to move on.
AL YANKOVIC

Articulate Enough Idea Make Movie Parameter Song
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
AL YANKOVIC

Avoid Discuss Heat Paper Political Politics Religion Toilet
Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
AL YANKOVIC

Almost Dear Ever Feel Left Me Miserable Since You
I have a long-standing history of respecting artists’ wishes.
AL YANKOVIC

History Long Respect Stand Wish
I’ve learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.
AL YANKOVIC

Effectively Filter Learn Pretty Spam Use
As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
AL YANKOVIC

Doe Internet Like Out Stuff Suit Turn
You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
AL YANKOVIC

Bagel Face Pitchfork Remove Staple Wanna
It was difficult to get into my friends’ rock bands when I was a teenager.
AL YANKOVIC

Difficult Friend Player Rock Teenager
I’m just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
AL YANKOVIC

Boot Esteem Good Grovel Hunk Low Nose Self Slime Worthless
It doesn’t take a military genius to see we’ll all be crispy critters after World War III.
AL YANKOVIC

Critter Genius Look Military Peace School Second War World
They somehow didn’t see the need for an accordion player. That’s when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.
AL YANKOVIC

According Life Need Own Path Player Realize Somehow

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