And if those two other doctors get paid by Big Snack Food, like certain climate deniers get paid by Big Coal, I shouldn’t take their advice.
AL FRANKENThe government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy.
More Al Franken Quotes
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Skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive?
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When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
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Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.
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You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.
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Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
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If you use Facebook – as I do – Facebook in all likelihood has a unique digital file of your face, one that can be as accurate as a fingerprint and that can be used to identify you in a photo of a large crowd.
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I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state.
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For 35 years I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren’t funny. Some of them weren’t appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.
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What you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.
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Net neutrality isn’t a government takeover of the Internet, as many of my Republican colleagues have alleged.
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I’m from the Vietnam generation. I didn’t serve.
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There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.
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And terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.
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Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.
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They’re trying to pay for health care and send their kids to college, they’re worried about declining home values, they’re scared for a loved one they have serving in Iraq.
AL FRANKEN