And when you hit him, he runs to the teacher and says, ‘Teacher, sue him.’
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Service dogs raise their masters’ sense of well-being.
More Al Franken Quotes
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The only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.
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Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.
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Google might be doping the horses.
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It’s hard for a liberal to go on between Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, because it’s like doing country music after hip-hop. I mean, just, the audience doesn’t go from one to the other.
AL FRANKEN -
The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.
AL FRANKEN -
The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers.
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During Vietnam, I was in college, enjoying my student deferment. The government wisely felt that, in my case, military service was less important than completing my studies to prepare me for my chosen career: comedian.
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There’s an element of that that’s either God-given, a talent that you’re not necessarily responsible for.
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But I think it’s a good thing. Some people thought that it was an odd career arc, but to me it made absolute sense.
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Too many people don’t protect their smartphones with a password or PIN.
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I felt like the luckiest kid in the world. And I was. I was growing up middle-class in a time when growing up middle-class in America meant there would be jobs for my parents.
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There’s going to have to be investigations, and an independent investigation, into the Trump campaign and the Trump administration’s relationship to Russia.
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If you want a free email service that doesn’t use your words to target ads to you, you’ll have to figure out how to port years and years of Gmail messages somewhere else, which is about as easy as developing your own free email service.
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I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.
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I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.
AL FRANKEN






