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I love to be busy and be challenged. I’m my happiest when I’m under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.

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Challenge Done Happiest Much Overwhelmed Pressure Under

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I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.
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I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life, brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me, my childhood was torture.
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I have always been a softie, and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly, my being’s fibers need to hit the gym.
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All these young books for women are like I’m 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can’t get a date. Come on.
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I like grown up comedy.
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Comedy Grown Like Up
Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing, I suppose. I don’t want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I’m super-grateful.
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Bad Good Grateful Omnipresence Suppose Thing Thinking Want
I’m such a geek, and have always been a real nerd.
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I visualize myself winning the Olympic Pentathlon, inventing a phone that can be controlled by brain waves, or doing the laundry.
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Control Doing Inventing Lying Myself Olympic Phone Visualize Wave Win Winning
Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.
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Experience Human Make Scar Tough Turn Wound
I will say that stand-up is my first love; it’s how I got started and is in my bones.
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Bone First How Love Say Stand Started Up
So much of a stand-up’s life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers, and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.
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Doing Funny Life Live Minute Much Quick Radio Sou Spot Stand Stranger Surgical Three
Pop culture is great, but it can be bad, at times.
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Bad Culture Great Pop Time
TV always wants more people to be watching.
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Karaoke is the great equalizer.
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Marriage isn’t a carnival ride.
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So what I would say to other people is to just embrace who you are because you will become instantly happier.
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Embrace Happier Instant Other People Say

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