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For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

Adam Rex

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.
ADAM REX

Crazy Drug Extra Looking Sane Stiffened Thing
Can I see some ID?” “WE DON’T HAVE ID,” said Jay, loudly. “‘CAUSE WE’RE CANADIAN. WE DON’T USE ID…THERE. AND THAT’S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. ‘CAUSE WE’RE CANADIAN.”
ADAM REX

Country Crazy Identity Look See Some Use Young
There was less than I’d expected in the rainy-day fund that Mom had kept in the bottom of an underwear drawer in a panty hose egg labeled ‘DEAD SPIDERS.’ As if I hadn’t always known it was there. As if I wouldn’t want to look at dead spiders.
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
[J.Lo] found us a police car. Sort of. ‘It’s not a police car,’ I said. ‘It is,’ said J.Lo. ‘Looknow. Lights for flashing.’ ‘That’s true.’ ‘Writing on the sides.’ ‘Yeah, but the writing? It says ”BullShake Party Patrol.” Yes. Whatnow?
ADAM REX

Car Light Party Police Writing
For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER
ADAM REX

Gentle Librarian Nothing Strictly Tofu Vegetarian
Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren’t.
ADAM REX

Cat Clean Itself Suddenly Want Way
Wherefor are you knowing it? If you stacked all of the Gorg in the galaxy on top of eachother, the Gorg would kill you.
ADAM REX

Galaxy Gorg Knowing Stacked Top
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
If you are not wanting to do your work, why would a clone of you want to do your work?
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
I’ve been punched by a vampire, an Indian girl, and a panda… I should be a video game.
ADAM REX

Game Girl Indian Punched Vampire
Is there a short-eared koobish, then?’ Mmmyes …’ said J.Lo. ‘But it is technically not really a koobish. Is more alike a kind of singing pumpkin.’ We had conversations like these all the time, where I just eventually gave up.
ADAM REX

Kind Koobish Pumpkin Singing
I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with … G.” “Sausages.
ADAM REX

Eye Little Sausage Spy Start
We found the bathrooms, which were labeled ‘Aliens’ and ‘Femaliens.’ ‘Finally,’ I said to J.Lo. ‘Here’s a bathroom you’re allowed to use.
ADAM REX

Alien Bathroom Female Labeled Use
Gratuity’ in written Boovish has seventeen different bubbles that all have to be the right size and in the right place.
ADAM REX

Anand Thakur
Magic likes a good tragedy, too.
ADAM REX

Good Like Magic Tragedy
The Boov frowned. ‘Everybodies always is wanting to make a clone for to doing their work.
ADAM REX

Always Clone Doing Everybody Want Wanting Work

For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

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For the gentle werelibrarian, who’s strictly vegetarian, there’s nothing like Tofillager the MEATLESS TOFU VILLAGER

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