My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARAOne day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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Whenever she uses the phrase ‘I was thinking…,’ that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.
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What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
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Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
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Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
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The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
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Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
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I love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
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I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA