I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARAI don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARAMy pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARAMen tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: ‘Swear to God, man – the hooker gave the money back.’
ADAM FERRARAAs soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARAThe only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARAI love that magazine, man – Victoria’s Secret – and it comes, like, every three hours.
ADAM FERRARAOne day in the shower, you figure it out. It’s a special day in a man’s life. I was like, ‘Oh, I found me a hobby.’
ADAM FERRARAMy dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARALadies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you’re happy, you let us touch you.
ADAM FERRARAMy father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARAI think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
ADAM FERRARAWhat if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARAI love to believe that there’s one god but there’s many different religions so there’s just the question of which long distance company you pick.
ADAM FERRARAYou gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARAMy girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARAI look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
ADAM FERRARA