My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
ADAM FERRARAI know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
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Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
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There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.
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If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
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I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date.
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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
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My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
ADAM FERRARA