You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you’re on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.
ADAM FERRARAI know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
More Adam Ferrara Quotes
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I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA -
The girls are beautiful in Hollywood – and enough silicon to caulk a sink.
ADAM FERRARA -
I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.
ADAM FERRARA -
My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, ‘Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man’s under the bed!’ Pop opens one eye, he’s like, ‘Is the boogie man bigger than me?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA -
What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why!
ADAM FERRARA -
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA -
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA -
Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, ‘How’s it going with that girl?’ ‘One day at a time, man.’
ADAM FERRARA -
There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I’m a Catholic, and she’s the devil.
ADAM FERRARA -
I woke up my pop in the middle of the night ’cause the boogie man’s under my bed.
ADAM FERRARA -
If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARA -
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARA -
I know she’s just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing ’til you hear water.
ADAM FERRARA -
The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARA -
Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA