black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.

Adam Ferrara

My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don’t know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.
ADAM FERRARA

Celebrate Celebration Day Earth Easter Egg Favorite Funny Holiday Jesus Rabit
The only marriage I’ve observed for any length of time is my parents – 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, ‘Pop, 35 years – what do you hope for?’ He’s like, ‘I hope you die first.’
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Length Marriage Observed Parent Time Year
I love my girlfriend, don’t get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It’s a gift.
ADAM FERRARA

Ability Emotional Environment Funny Gift Girlfriend Love Sex Truly Woman Wrong
You gotta fight. You gotta get out the negative energy. Don’t let it build up. You end up screaming at each other over something totally stupid, like, ‘Well, why’d you put this spoon in this drawer then?’ ‘
ADAM FERRARA

Build End Energy Fight Funny Humor Negative Screaming Stupid Up
There’s no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie – just a quick sniff, ‘Alright, let’s go.’
ADAM FERRARA

Alright Animal Dating Dinner Funny Go Kingdom Movie No Quick Sniff
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you – I hope she meets somebody nice.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girlfriend Hope Marriage Married Meet Nice She Someone Tell You
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, ‘Adam – uh, don’t kiss guys.’
ADAM FERRARA

Chicken Father Funny Kiss Once Room Sex Talk Walked You
My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.
ADAM FERRARA

Car Dad Guy Money Spend Trust Vehicle Wanted Working
Just to p-s you off, that’s why! I got spoons hidden all over this house! Keep it up, and your napkin rings are gonna start disappearing.’
ADAM FERRARA

Disaapering Got Hidden House Keep Napkin Ring Spoon Start
I talk a lot about women in my act, ’cause let’s face it — if I was hungry, I would talk about food.
ADAM FERRARA

Cause Face Food Funny Humor Hungry Lot Talk Women
As soon as you lay down, that’s when the most bizarre things start coming out of her mouth. ‘Goodnight, baby.’ ‘Do you think we were together in a past life?’ ‘Yeah, and I died of sleep deprivation. Go to bed.’ ‘Don’t you feel like we’re soul…’
ADAM FERRARA

Baby Bizarre Down Funny Good Humor Most Mouth
If you’re in California and it’s raining, stay home, because nobody can drive in the rain. It’s like it’s raining frogs. They’re terrified.
ADAM FERRARA

Country Drive Home Nobody Rain Raining Stay
I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Humor Meet Mial Order Perfect Think Thinking Woman
I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is ‘If it feels good – stop.’
ADAM FERRARA

Basically Catholic Feel Funny Good Humor Religion Religious Stop
Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.
ADAM FERRARA

Friend Funny Humor Important Need Sex Story Tell
I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren’t.
ADAM FERRARA

Funny Girl Humor Meant Meet Sincerely Sleep

I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I don’t think I’ll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Adam Ferrara Quotes