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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

Abigail Van Buren

If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Adversity Blister Few Inspirational Place Sun Want
Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Called Family Humorous Miscalculate Mother Women
If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Business Generation Interested Journal Kind Looking Older Sex Street Wall
Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Free Help Pay Pipe Religion Water Women
The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Character Family Friendship Good Life Person
Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age. Nothing does – except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Automatic Inspirational Nothing True Wine Wisdom Wrinkle
So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Day Diet Lost New Temper Today Wagon Yesterday
Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Castor Down Matter Oil Psychotherapy Useless Work
It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It’s cruel, it’s brutal, it’s inhumane, and most people don’t want it.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Abuse Animal Death Defense Mutilation People Subject Unconscionable
You could move.’ —“Dear Abby” responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Ash Compalined Couple Gay Moving Reader Respond
Kissing power is stronger than will power.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Family Happiness Kiss Love Power Stronger
The purpose of life is to amount to something and have it make some difference that you lived at all.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Amount Difference Inspirational Motivational Purpose Suicide
Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you’re supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Ability Bear Finishes Job Maturity Start Supervise
Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Accept Blind Date Discuss Girl Jean Sex Talk
A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Church Hospital Museum Religion Sinner
Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Cruel Eat Erode Esteem Ocean Self World

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

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If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.

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Popular Authors

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