If you want a place in the sun, you have got to put up with a few blisters.
ABIGAIL VAN BURENIf you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
More Abigail Van Buren Quotes
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Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
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If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no longer interested in sex, take out an ad in The Wall Street Journal.
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Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you’ve got to help pay for the piping. And the piper.
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The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.
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Wisdom doesn’t automatically come with old age. Nothing does – except wrinkles. It’s true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
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So yesterday you fell off the wagon? Or maybe you blew your diet? Or lost your temper and shot off your mouth? Well, that was yesterday. Today is a brand-new day with a clean slate, so forget yesterday!
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Psychotherapy, unlike castor oil, which will work no matter how you get it down, is useless when forced on an uncooperative patient.
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It is totally unconscionable to subject defenseless animals to mutilation and death, just so a company can be the first to market a new shade of nail polish or a new, improved laundry detergent. It’s cruel, it’s brutal, it’s inhumane, and most people don’t want it.
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You could move.’ —“Dear Abby” responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.
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Kissing power is stronger than will power.
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The purpose of life is to amount to something and have it make some difference that you lived at all.
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Maturity is the ability to do a job whether you’re supervised or not; finish a job once it’s started; carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.
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Accept every blind date you can get, even with a girl who wears jeans. Maybe you can talk her out of them.
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A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
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Cruel words erode the self-esteem like the ocean eats away the shore.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN