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Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

Aaron McGruder

I guess I was a conspiracy theorist when I said “no weapons in Iraq.” Now they call that history.
AARON MCGRUDER

Conspiracy Country Danger Fear Theorist Weapon
Obviously, there’s a million things we’re allowed to say on late-night cable that you’re not allowed to say on a prime time broadcast.
AARON MCGRUDER

Allow Broadcast Cable Late Million Night Obvious Thing
We don’t need a two-party system. We need something else. Because at this point, the two-party system is really just a one-party system. And that one party is crumbling.
AARON MCGRUDER

Crumbling Need Party Point System
I want the news delivered unbiased. I thought that was the whole point with journalism.
AARON MCGRUDER

Deliver Journalism News Point Unbiased Want
Fidel Castro just talked a long time, and he talked and he talked and he talked and he talked… and he talked during the meeting. I think it was about four hours. But I guess that’s part of the Castro spirit.
AARON MCGRUDER

Discuss Fidel Castro Long Spirit Talk Thinking
Fame is not your friend. It ain’t necessarily your enemy. It is what it is.
AARON MCGRUDER

Enemy Fame Friend Necessarily
Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.
AARON MCGRUDER

Affiliation Commit Gun Political Terrorism
Voting really doesn’t mean anything. I wish I could say something different, but I think it’s kind of a sham.
AARON MCGRUDER

Different Mean Sham Something Thinking Voting
You know, Democratic and Republican administrations alike have supported individuals and regimes that have slaughtered millions across the globe. And they need to be held accountable for that.
AARON MCGRUDER

Administration Democratic Individual Need Regimes Republican Support
I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
AARON MCGRUDER

Crotchety Grandson Mean Wonder
You know, every time a summer movie comes out, people think they’re gonna get rich off of the merchandise.
AARON MCGRUDER

Merchandise Movie People Rich Summer Think Thinking
I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on ‘Seinfeld’.
AARON MCGRUDER

Funny Real Seinfeld Thinking White
In USA culture is just a matter of commerce. So, you know, I don’t really look for that, and I don’t expect to find it in any city.
AARON MCGRUDER

City Commerce Culture Expect Found Matter
I think you have to play the game on every level. If you need a friendly, charismatic, good-looking guy to be the mouthpiece, then so be it. And maybe Ralph Nader should just be behind the scenes telling that guy what to say.
AARON MCGRUDER

Friendly Game Good Guy Level Looking Thinking
I’m actually kind of angriest about the fact that everybody keeps saying how angry I am.
AARON MCGRUDER

Angry Expression Keep Kind Saying Show
I really get a little bit confused by all this “angry angry angry” talk when all I do is tell jokes and at least some people find it funny.
AARON MCGRUDER

Angry Confused Joke People Share Tell

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

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Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

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