“I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.”

I’m actually kind of angriest about the fact that everybody keeps saying how angry I am.

You know, every time a summer movie comes out, people think they’re gonna get rich off of the merchandise.

We don’t need a two-party system. We need something else. Because at this point, the two-party system is really just a one-party system. And that one party is crumbling.

The population has to be educated about how the government actually works.

In USA culture is just a matter of commerce. So, you know, I don’t really look for that, and I don’t expect to find it in any city.

I do the interviews and then I read about myself. I understand it and I get what it is. But there’s so much stuff that I say, either jokingly or lightheartedly, that gets printed like I’m dead serious.

Fluid and energetic and wild very, very smart and very, very funny.

Anyone with a gun can go out and commit an act of terrorism, even without a political affiliation.

We have to confront the very scary fact that the president is a moron. He’s really dumb.

I think there’s a lot of good and bad to L.A. One of the things you have to consider is that you can, if you’re lucky, make a decent living here. That’s a big plus. That’s pretty positive. The weather is OK.

I cannot be made into the commentator for the unspoken black masses.

When I pass, speak freely of my shortcomings and my flaws. Learn from them, for I’ll have no ego to injure.

When the news wants to tell you something is important, they put dramatic theme music behind it. They scare you into watching the story.

Obviously, there’s a million things we’re allowed to say on late-night cable that you’re not allowed to say on a prime time broadcast.

It may sound weird, but I don’t really look for culture, particularly in an American city.

And I’m not so in love with making people mad that I want to live my life around it.