She was the epitome of stately sorrow each time she smiled.
JOSEPH HELLERRemember that everyone deserves some fun during working hours.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
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You’re an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I’m an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I’m in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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Insanity is contagious.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Let’s take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Be glad you’re even alive. Be furious you’re going to die.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it’s going your way. When it isn’t, don’t call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
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The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
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I don’t understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I’m not running away from my responsibilities. I’m running to them. There’s nothing negative about running away to save my life.
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Frankly, I’d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
JOSEPH HELLER