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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

Dick Gregory

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
DICK GREGORY

Eat Food Myself Oppression People Right Time
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY

Angry Hell
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY

Deal Expression Insult Man Myself
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY

Black Children Myself Oppression
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Result Wait
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY

Black Dance Law Sing Talk Writing
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY

Funny Lost Money Myself Weapon
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY

Existence Foot Myself Woman
Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY

Home Place
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
DICK GREGORY

Food Myself People Quick Soul
Even though he understood the depths of racism and black oppression, Ali lived his life as a free man—a free loving and lovable man.
DICK GREGORY

Black Deep Life Love Man Oppression Race Understand
To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
DICK GREGORY

Music Myself Poet
I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
DICK GREGORY

Oneself Secret Yourself

If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.

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