I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYLove is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
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The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
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I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
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No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
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I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
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There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
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Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
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Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
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Even though he understood the depths of racism and black oppression, Ali lived his life as a free man—a free loving and lovable man.
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Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
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I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
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When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
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Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: ‘We don’t serve colored people here.’ I said: ‘that’s all right, I don’t eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
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Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
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If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
DICK GREGORY