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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

Dick Gregory

No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
DICK GREGORY

Children Destroy Father Hands Man Wind Woman World
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY

Existence Foot Myself Woman
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Darkness Myself
I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
DICK GREGORY

Food Myself People Quick Soul
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY

Career Difference Freedom Time Yourself
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY

Animal Human Life Tolerance
Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
DICK GREGORY

Home Place
If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Poor
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
DICK GREGORY

Food Mom
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY

Dance Love War
If democracy is such a good thing, let’s have more of it.
DICK GREGORY

Democracy Goodness
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
DICK GREGORY

Duty Place Right Sports Vote
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY

Breathe Night Wonderful Yourself
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY

Angry Hell
It’s cool to be healthy.
DICK GREGORY

Health Instagram Captions One Liner

Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

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