“I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.”

Don’t cry for a man who’s left you, the next one may fall for your smile.

It’s easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty – he has suffered longer.

Sex is an emotion in motion.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Don’t ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.

I’m single because I was born that way.

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

Love isn’t an emotion or an instinct – it’s an art.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I’d have to give it up.

Your real security is yourself. You know you can do it, and they can’t ever take that away from you.

We saw the lightning and that was the guns and then we heard the thunder and that was the big guns; and then we heard the rain falling and that was the blood falling; and when we came to get in the crops, it was dead men that we reaped.

The Egyptians got it wrong. They wrapped the dead. They did not realize I wrapped the living.

My beer drunk soul is sadder than all the dead christmas trees of the world.

A man who is 100% sane is dead.

To travel is to be alive, but to get somewhere is to be dead, for as our own proverb says, To travel well is better than to arrive.

Call no man happy till he is dead.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.

He is many things – dangerous and devious, cunning and deadly, a good friend and an implacable enemy – but he comes from an age when a man’s word was indeed precious.