“I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.”

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.

Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.

Anyone who is concerned about his dignity would be well advised to keep away from horses.

It’s better to get out before you reach the sell-by date.

Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant.

I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.

I have very little experience of self-government. In fact, I am one of the most governed people in the world.

You could do with losing a little bit of weight.

If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

It’s much better to go when you are still capable than wait until people say you’re so doddery it’s time you went.

My favourite subject at school was avoiding unnecessary work.

There’s this group online that I frequent.

Frequently remind yourself that God is with you, that He will never fail you, that you can count upon him. Say these words, “God is with me, helping me.”

A tool is usually more simple than a machine; it is generally used with the hand, whilst a machine is frequently moved by animal or steam power.

An object is frequently not seen, from not knowing how to see it, rather than from any defect of the organ of vision.

Indians were frequently off their reservations.

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.

Declining from the public ways, walk in unfrequented paths.