“I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.”

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I’ve never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.

British women can’t cook.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

Relationships are like Rome – difficult to start out, incredible during the prosperity of the ‘golden age’, and unbearable during the fall.

Who acts, shall endure. So speaks the voice of the age-old wisdom.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

From the age of three, I played every day-morning, afternoon and night.

You’re never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child.

The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class.

At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.

I do know that when I am 60, I should be attempting to achieve different personal goals than those which had priority at age 20.