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Brendan Behan

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Funny Irish People Spiritual
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
BRENDAN BEHAN

People Talking Way
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Children Married Painter
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way

There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.

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There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.

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