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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

Bob Saget

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage
I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGET

Become Chameleon Whenever
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET

Acting Fun People
Stop It, stop lighting your butthol on fire, and everybody listen to me. If you light your ass on fire, I hope you have boxers or a filter of somekind, because if your a bareass person.
BOB SAGET

Fire Light People
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET

Anymore Dirty Laughing People Stuff
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
BOB SAGET

Boys Car Country Years
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Crowds Screaming Something Sort Years
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET

Hands Selfish Trying
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want

A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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