I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
BO BURNHAMWe’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM






