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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.

Bob Saget

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET

Make People Think Thinking
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
Concerned we’re in a time where politicians can’t even fake sincerity. Aren’t they supposed to be good at that?
BOB SAGET

Fake Politics Sincerity
I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGET

Become Chameleon Whenever
The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Interesting Thinking
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGET

Nice Pieces Salmon
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing

That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.

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Popular Authors

That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes