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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

Bill Watterson

I would turn out rough idea after rough idea, and he would veto eighty percent of them. I pretty much prostituted myself for six months but I couldn’t please him, so he sent me packing.
BILL WATTERSON

Idea Packing Percent Prostituted
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what’s cool.
BILL WATTERSON

Grow Up Ideas People
Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you’re over here like this? Calvin:…I don’t think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.
BILL WATTERSON

Country Kings Mom Nice People Think
If people looked at the stars each night, they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.
BILL WATTERSON

Inspirational Nature Stars
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
BILL WATTERSON

Battle Disrespect Drama InterAction
On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
BILL WATTERSON

Cultural Disintegrating Impact Less Money
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Sarcastic
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorant Men Risk
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Grow Up Thinking
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

Butter Control Funny Life Peanut
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

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