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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Family Forgive Men Mother
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company’s time and with its blessing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Blessing Husband Marriage
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two

There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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