All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAMI’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I’m OK, but that’s about it. I like to think I’m good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM