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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.

Billy Connolly

I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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Believe Book Care Film Movie
I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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Drinking Ideas Stills Stop
I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
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Childlike Growing Mean Thinking
I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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Alright Disease Humorous Mad
I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
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Huge Love Simply Thinking You
I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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Fog Singer Voice
Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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Children Nice Wife
American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
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Dolls People Sex Suppose
I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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Audience Differences Offended People You
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Country Football Someone Team
Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
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Anthem Boring Country Funny Humor
When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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Air School
I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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Firsts Guy Minute Movie Stars
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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Objects Running Scissors
I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
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Big Fan Fans Home Rottweilers
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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Country Kilts Looks Mcdonalds Quater

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.

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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.

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