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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

Billy Crystal

I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Thinking
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Father Respect
My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Fun Grandchildren Grandparent
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Book Improvising Play School
The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ashes Friday Passion
At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Bases Nightly Something
There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Big Clothes Difference Mostly
When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
BILLY CRYSTAL

Crazy Daughter Girl
[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Stars Uncle
That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Soul
Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Change Inspirational Work
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Inspirational Life Wise
I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feet Thinking
The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Kids Play

When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

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Popular Authors

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