I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
BILL HICKSDon’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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I love talking about Kennedy assassination…a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government…sorry, wrong meeting.
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I’m sorry if any of you are Catholic. I’m not sorry if you’re offended, I’m actually just sorry by the fact that you’re Catholic.
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You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
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I don’t get along with anything, I really don’t…I’m, I’m, maybe I’m just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being.
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that’s their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm… Sounds like… every commercial on television, doesn’t it?
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS