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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!

Bill Hicks

I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed. And for the first time in the history of mankind, something new, called an astronaut. But like so many kids brought up on a steady diet of Westerns.
BILL HICKS

Doctor Dream Heart Hero President
I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
BILL HICKS

Christian Running Wish
I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS

Happiness Ideas Laughter Revolutionary
Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I’ll prove it to you. You’re at a ball game or a concert, and someone’s really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?
BILL HICKS

Drunk Games Marijuana Obnoxious
May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
BILL HICKS

Day Glasses Perhaps Water
Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Go back to bed America… you are free to do as we tell you… you are free to do as we tell you.
BILL HICKS

Back Country Free Government
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
BILL HICKS

Clueless People Stupid
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
BILL HICKS

Jobs People Vote
The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
BILL HICKS

Powerful Real Thinking
What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!
BILL HICKS

Arms Government Realizing
Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
BILL HICKS

Ass Eating Miracle
Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive.
BILL HICKS

Created Fear Organization
Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
BILL HICKS

Rushing Satan Speaking Watch
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years
You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
BILL HICKS

Connection Make Trying
If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
BILL HICKS

Agnostic Atheism Atheist

I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!

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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!

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