Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
BILL HICKSI smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin’ mouth.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I wouldn’t give Satan a snowball’s chance in Hell against a woman’s ego.
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Music is a great energizer. It’s a language everybody knows.
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It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
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I’m just skin covering coffee and some real nervous teeth.
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I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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The world’s like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, that’s how powerful our minds are
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Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who’ve helped me.
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
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Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren’t partyin’.
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
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Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
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Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
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I am a misanthropic humanist… Do I like people? They’re great, IN THEORY.
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People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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Jesus-murdered. Martin Luther King-murdered. Gandhi-murdered. Malcolm X-murdered. Reagan-wounded.
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Marijuana grows naturally…Don’t you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don’t know, unnatural?
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You know, when I see those two twins on that Doublemint commercial? I’m not thinking of gum. I am thinking of chewing, so maybe that’s the connection they’re trying to make.
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In Australia…they celebrate Easter the same…by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit…left chocolate eggs in the night
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At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
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See we just had a misunderstanding. I thought we lived in the U.S. of A., the United States of America. But actually we live in the U.S. of A., the United States of Advertising. Freedom of expression is guaranteed? If you’ve got the money!
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All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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This Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
BILL HICKS