You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts.”
BILL HICKSHumanity is just a virus with shoes.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
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Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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Our next Cold War ought to be with ourselves…After all, who poses the biggest danger to the American environment? We do.
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People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
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I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
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Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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I saw…a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs.
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As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.
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I’d…bet enthusiasm for ‘ethnic cleansing’ will wane if only sticks and rocks are available for the warring parties.
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Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
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Now I wonder why we’re f-ked up as a race. I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the f-king book.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.
BILL HICKS