“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.”

Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.

Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren’t for Christmas We’d all be Jewish.

I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: ‘Oh well,’ and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Live everyday as though it’s your last ’cause one day you’ll be right.

Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?

I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.

That’s what show business is, sincere insincerity.

The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Do unto others, then run

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

We recognize that North Korea is in severe financial straits, and they have decided to use their resources to build their military, rather than to feed their people and to take care of the various humanitarian responsibilities that they have.

The minute Mr. Putin decided to put his military forces in Syria, I went to see him. And I said, “Look, here’s what I’m doing.

The harder the fighting and the longer the war, the more the infantry, and in fact all the arms, lean on the gunners.

This tendency to consider only bombings or picking up the gun as revolutionary, with the glorification of the heavier the better,we’ve called the military error.

These UFOs are interplanetary devices systematically observing the earth, either manned or under remote control, or both.

We turned our back on Israel, our ally. You know, and a situation like that, of course [Barack]Obama’s not going to be able to do anything. I would shore up our military first, because if you don’t get the military right, nothing else is going to work.

A Marine should be sworn to the patient endurance of hardships, like the ancient knights; and it is not the least of these necessary hardships to have to serve with sailors.

Putin has as one of his core objectives fracturing NATO, which is one of the greatest military alliances in the history of the world.