I do like to start on time; I like to set the bar high for people.
TINA FEYWhen a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
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This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
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Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
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And I can see Russia from my house.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
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I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
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In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
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In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY






