“I expect to play golf until I am 90-even longer if anybody figures out a way to swing a club from a rocking chair.”

I couldn’t hit an elephant’s ass with a bull fiddle.

Study the rules so that you won’t beat yourself by not knowing something.

I came out to beat everybody in sight, and that’s just what I’m going to do.

I don’t seem able to do my best unless I’m behind or in trouble.

They say golf came easy to me because I was a good athlete, but there’s not any girl on the LPGA Tour who worked near as hard as I did in golf. It’s the toughest game I ever tackled.

My philosophy? Practice, practice, practice and win.

It’s not just enough to swing at the ball. You’ve got to loosen your girdle and really let the ball have it.

I don’t see any point in playing the game if you don’t win, do you?

Practice, which some regard as a chore, should be approached as just about the most pleasant recreation ever devised.

Winning has always meant much to me, but winning friends has meant the most.

I played many sports, but when that golf bug hit me, it was permanent.

Golf is a game of coordination, rhythm, and grace; women have these to a high degree.

The mediocre golfer generally is one who is too lazy to play better.

That little white ball won’t move until you hit it, and there’s nothing you can do after it has gone.

You can’t win them all but you can try.

The biggest weakness with my game is that I have fun with the galleries. I just love a gallery.

We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.

If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.

It is nevertheless a game of considerable passion, either of the explosive type, or that which burns inwardly and sears the soul.

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Nobody ever swung a club too slowly.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.