This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
TINA FEYYou’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone “come out” to you is the “pretending to be surprised” part.
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Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy.
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And I can see Russia from my house.
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I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
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Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
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I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
TINA FEY -
A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
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Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.
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You can’t control things by being nervous.
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Maternity leave is over for Tina Fey of Saturday Night Live. She’ll be back behind the Weekend Update anchor desk for this week’s episode, her first show since giving birth to daughter Alice on Sept. 10.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEY -
Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
TINA FEY -
Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
TINA FEY -
I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
TINA FEY -
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY -
There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
TINA FEY -
Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
TINA FEY -
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY -
Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
TINA FEY -
Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
TINA FEY