When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEYYou’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone “come out” to you is the “pretending to be surprised” part.
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I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
TINA FEY






