“I’m going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year – I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.”

I’m pissed off. ‘Cause I knew I did something wrong. I’ll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.

I’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up.

He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don’t know about my wrists is my wrists don’t go all the way back.

(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can’t stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.

Y’all reporters like my quotes, don’t you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

When you’re righteous, you don’t have to tell people that you’re righteous.

A pinch is a pinch. If you pinch my right nipple, I’m going to say, ‘ouch.’ If I pinch your right nipple, you’re going to say ‘ouch.’ A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant.

Obviously, Sam is the type of guy that hides behind his pen and pad. I promise you he wouldn’t say that to my face in a dark alley where it’s just me and him and no witnesses.

I would like to be referred to as ‘The Big Aristotle’.

Tell Yao Ming, ‘Ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.’

The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.

I’m the first player in history that doesn’t want to play defense and still gets in foul trouble.

I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up.

I have heard it said that an inoculation to the sights and smells of the Carolina lowcountry is an almost irreversible antidote to the charms of other landscapes, other alien geographies.

On our Southern border, Joe Biden has allowed hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of illegal aliens into our country.

Illegal aliens knew President Joe Biden would open our southern border wide open.

The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.

When your kids turn 13, an alien being invades their bodies and doesn’t leave until they’re 20.

Computer memories work in a manner alien to human memories. My memory lets me recognize the faces of my friends, whereas my own computer never even recognizes me.

I was an illegal alien for many, many years. I couldn’t move. If I moved I could not even get a visa back.

I figure if I take my children’s work seriously, maybe they will too. And it reinforces the idea that art is not something alien and esoteric. Anyone can make art.