I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
RON WHITEThe first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
More Ron White Quotes
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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You can’t fix stupid.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
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I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
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I write all of my material. It’s all me.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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