Barack Obama is more irritating than the other nuisances on the Left.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
-
-
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'ROURKE -
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'ROURKE