I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKE