I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITEMy life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
More Ron White Quotes
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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