There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITEI’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
More Ron White Quotes
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The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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